Sabres00 - thank you for responding - it definitely improved my mood.
I did contact

tech support, and they did help as much as they could. It did turn out to be a problem between Paymentech and Authorize.net. Each of them kept telling me the problem was on the other company's side (

), until I kept complaining to this one tech person at Paymentech who finally gave me the key:
For anyone using Paymentech, who finds out that Authorize.net will do the processing, be sure to email Authorize.net support with these settings (it would seem to me Paymentech should have done this and made sure they were correct, but hey, that's just me):
PNS Merchant Number (aka Merchant Number) - this is 12 digits long
PNS Client Number - this is 4 digits long
Terminal Number - this is 3 digits long
Merchant MCC/SIC - this is 4 digits long
All of this information comes on a neat little sheet called the Authorize.net Set-up Sheet and/or you can call Paymentech and bug them until they give you this information.
Also, ask them whether you have "terminal capture enabled" and tell Authorize.net this too.
Hopefully this will help someone else from breaking out the Excedrin.